Disagreement is inevitable. In fact, in our world today it is often encouraged. In the political world, both “sides of the aisle” encourage you to hate and despise the other side. Social media is constantly capturing our attention by rage-baiting us into staying on their platforms. But even without these cultural dramas, it is our nature as humans to disagree.

There is no doubt that even within the church we will have disagreements. There will be “hard conversations” – everything from the color of the carpet to potentially serious doctrinal issues. We must deal with these matters in a loving way, for it says in John 13:35, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

The Art of Disagreeing was written to address the fact that “disagreement itself is not the problem."[i] Instead, the problem is how we respond to disagreement. We often bristle at even the smallest conflict, worried that we won’t be able to defend ourselves, or that we will be proven wrong, or that our territory is being threatened in some way. But “how we Christians treat each other matters,”[ii] because we are called to show forth the gospel to unbelievers by our unusual love for each other. This book is a practical guide to teach us to “[wade] through a disagreement to identify where the real fault lines of difference lie,”[iii] thus preparing us to deal with conflict between believers as we seek to love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Ratings

Ease of read: 10/10

Dr. Ortlund’s 94-page volume is a very easy read. In fact, it’s one of the easiest Christian living books that I’ve ever read. His style is concise, easy to understand, and very organized. He gets to the point quickly (he has to – it’s only 94 pages!), and his points are very memorable.

Content: 9/10

Dr. Ortlund has provided us with a very practical and biblical guide to deal with disagreements of any kind. Some of his instruction is particularly spiritual, as we begin with our relationship with God. Some of his instructions are also deeply practical, such as the importance of listening to the other person in the conversation. I have personally found this work very helpful in my own life.

The only “issue” on content is that there were a few places he could’ve given more explanation. However, the nature of such a short book is that there’s only so much you can say, so this is a very small issue.

Use of Scripture: 8/10

Throughout the book, Dr. Ortlund uses a great deal of Scripture. He also uses a number of very helpful illustrations to clarify what he’s communicating. He uses both effectively, but he could have been more expositional in his approach – that is, he could have started with Scripture more often, instead of starting with illustration and explanation, and getting to the Scripture later. Having said that, his ideas are still firmly rooted in Scripture, and he does explain Scripture expositionally.

Value: 9/10

The Art of Disagreeing can be transformative for those who are struggling to deal with conflict. It is not easy for anyone to disagree well, but it’s necessary for believers to continue to show love and kindness to one another when we do disagree. This book’s balance of simplicity and thoughtfulness, along with it’s drive to bring us back to the cross, make it a valuable resource for every Christian.

Overall Recommendation: 9/10

If you struggle to disagree in a godly way or if disagreement makes you uncomfortable (like it does for…everyone), then you should read this book. It might make you more uncomfortable, at least temporarily; but it will also help to lead you towards Christlikeness.

Key Takeaways

1. Disagreement is not a bad thing.

Disagreement sure feels like a bad thing, but it can often lead to good results. For example, disagreement on a passage of Scripture can lead to a better understanding of Scripture by forcing you to study it more deeply. Disagreement can also reveal Christ to others – “If we can learn how to love each other amid our differences, our very disagreements can commend the reality of Christ to those around us.”[iv] If disagreement has negative or painful results, it’s not because we disagreed – it’s because we did not disagree in a godly way.

2. Disagreeing well requires both kindness and courage.

 “We need to balance kindness (commitment to the person) with courage (commitment to the truth).”[v] This means we will think the best of others, treat them respectfully, encourage them as we’re able, and do what we can to help them ( see Eph. 4:32, Titus 3:2, Col. 4:6, Gal. 5:22). In this sense, the combination of courage and kindness enables us to stand firm in the truth without backing down, but also without anger, malice, or any form of unkindness towards the other person.

3. Disagreeing well requires patience.

 “Complicated differences simply take time to work through.”[vi] That means we need to intentionally make time to talk through our differences kindly and courageously, taking the time not only to express our side but also to listen carefully and patiently to others. We must learn not to rush to convince the other person, but to humbly take time to examine both sides of the conversation. This is the best way that disagreement can lead us to being more like Christ.

[i] Gavin Ortlund, The Art of Disagreeing (The Good Book Company, 2025), p. 10.